My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm like, not good at living.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
