are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
