Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
