he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
