Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
