How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
