I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
