Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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