who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
