this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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