I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
