is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
