both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
