Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
