6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
