:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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