The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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