i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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