I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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