Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
