I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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