There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
