I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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