you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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