what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
