I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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