last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
