Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
