why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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