Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
