So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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