I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
