new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
A bitchslap is in order.
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