Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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