yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
