I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
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