i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
