My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
