We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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