Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
