these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
