you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
