How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize