Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I forget how to act sober
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