never play flip cup with pint glasses
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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