Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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