Kiss
Puke
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
