Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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