I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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