Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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