You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize