I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
