I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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