so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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