I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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